18 August 2024
Chelsea 0 Man City 2
The standout fixture of the opening weekend pitted 115 players versus 115 charges. That’s right, it was Chelsea against Man City at Stamford Bridge. New manager Enzo Maresca had continued the club mantra of better to have and not need, than need and not have. Once again, they had gone big in the transfer window. Even signing players who had flopped at the club for huge money. Welcome back Joao Felix.
Statisticians are now saying that by the year 2032 you will never be more than twelve feet away from an ex-Chelsea manager, wherever you are in the UK. Crazy stats. Enzo Fernandez was awarded the captain’s armband as reward for his stellar work in trying to stamp out racism in the summer. Either that or for trying to start his own branch of the KKK, I forget which it was now.
Talking of crazy people and songs that match their personality, Cucurella and his Spain compatriots sung a song about how Haaland trembles that the defender is coming for him. Well, he certainly hides that well, especially on his goal. The ball was slotted through to him, he strode into the box and held the player off as he tucked it past Sanchez to make it one-nil.
Doku was causing Chelsea no end of trouble down the left wing. Gusto seemed so out of his depth that it was like he was in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. During Mourinho’s first stint at the club, he made them a defensive rock based on good centre backs and defensive midfielders. Currently, The Blues have none of these players despite forking out America’s black ops budget on transfers.
Savio started for the visitors, making his competitive debut. He cut inside from the right and played the ball into De Bruyne. The Belgian burst forward and looked to bend one in the far corner but it whistled past the post. Sanchez was nowhere near it. Man City were winning the battles all over the park at this stage. Maresca’s side looked all over the shop.
Chelsea’s new captain was going down whenever he felt any sort of physical contact from an opponent. So much for that tough Argentinian upbringing eh. He did win a free kick deep in his own half but the hosts immediately gave the ball away and Doku shaped up to shoot from distance. His effort took a slight deflection and was heading into the roof of the net until Sanchez tipped it over.
The Blues only looked dangerous when Palmer was on the ball. He cut inside and tried to bend one in the far corner but Ederson got down to parry it. Jackson was lurking at the back post to slot home, seemingly squaring things up for the hosts. However, immediately the assistant on the far side raised his flag for offside and the replay confirmed that the striker had strayed off.
Towards the end of the first half, the hosts thought they had a good claim for a penalty when Fernandez went down again. Anthony Taylor waved away protests and VAR stuck by his decision. The replay showed there may have been two points of contact but whether either was enough to send him to ground is unlikely. The boy who cried ‘lobo’ was denied once again.
Into the second half and the champions started to flex their muscles once again. De Bruyne and Silva combined to lay it in the path of Haaland. His first-time left footed shot was parried behind for a corner after a decent save by Sanchez. The Chelsea defenders all too often seemed like the weeping angels from Doctor Who. If you look at them, they remain still likes statues, rarely moving but somehow showing up in different areas of the pitch.
Neto came off the bench to make his Chelsea debut and almost scored immediately. Fernandez put a teasing ball across the six yard box and Lewis had to react to put the ball behind before the former Wolves man could pounce. It was his cross moments later that supplied the Argentine with a superb chance but his header was poor.
Man City struggled to clear their lines and as Caicedo headed it back into the box, Jackson pounced on the volley but struck his shot straight at Ederson who reacted well to palm it clear. Either side of the keeper and it was destined for the net. Great play by Neto initially to beat his man and cross from the byline. If only Fernandez was a little taller, he could have caused the City keeper problems.
To rub salt in the wound, Fofana’s clearance went straight to Kovacic in the middle of the park. He ghosted past Caicedo and Fernandez before striking a shot into the far corner. Having seen the replay, Sanchez really should have saved it. His weak wristed effort saw the ball hit the inside of the post and go in to secure the points for Pep Guardiola’s side.
Man City were worthy winners and got their defence of their Premier League crown started in some style. Things still seem so disjointed at Stamford Bridge you cannot see a resolution anytime soon. The calibre of players being brought in are questionable and more worryingly the owners are offering them all 300-year contracts to boot. Tough time to be a Chelsea fan.
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